Episode 19: Recap
Recapping original issues, as applied to “shared housing” formats
Most conflicts due to old stuff, “obsolete responses.”
Focus on yourself.
Objectivity is crucial; it’s really ok to acknowledge negative things about yourself.
Being the best rm you can be, and insisting on the same. But the control you have over this will vary:
Give the other person a reason to WANT to learn how to treat you well!
Visibility! One of the best things we can give each other.
Best advice: talk about what people need rather than what’s wrong with each other. Credit to NVC & Marshall Rosenberg for this, although I’d heard similar things years ago, e.g. Bach & “Creative Aggression.” Talk about yourself, avoid talking about the other person.